Being scrooge

It's not yet christmas but I'm being scrooge already. It's halloween and the trick or treaters have been kocking on the door for the last half hour but I'm hiding away upstairs because I don't want to see them.

It's not that I'm scared or being mean but I completely forgot it was halloween so didn't buy any sweets to give. The only thing I could give them from my cupboard is some cabbage. Their parents might thank me but they probably won't. I'd rather pretend I'm not in than open the door, tell them they can each have some cabbage andthen have them throw eggs thrown at my door.

This really isn't going to help my street cred with the neighbours who probably already don't like me very much. They all live in very clean, nice houses but ours has a bit of wear and tear at the front and I only ever mow the lawn and trim the hedges when they get really long (ie. the size of the average rainforest). I think that's probably knocking a good few thousand quid off the value off their houses so I'm probably not their best friend at the moment. Giving cabbage to their kids is unlikely to help my cause.

Anyway, happy halloween everyone. Here's a clip of the scariest man in the world (Michael Jackson) doing probably the longest (but best music) video ever to help you get in the festive mood. Ironically this is made before MJ put on his mask. It used to scare the life out of me when I was small.

23

I made the big leap and hit the big two-three yesterday. I did have a great day but there was good, bad and ugly on the day.

Good
- My college friends giving my a surprise cake (complete with candles and song) at the pub on Thursday night. I was really touched guys - thanks very much!
- Having all my family back home.
- The day coinciding with the last day of Ramadan.
- United beating Liverpool 2-0.
- Driving with my bro to the Madejski, full of hope that we could beat Arsenal.

Bad
- Sitting in the pouring rain watching Reading get whalloped 4-0 by Arsenal.
- Sitting in the pouring rain getting hit by the Arsenal players' shots in the warm up.
- Sitting in the pouring rain right next to the Arsenal fans celebrating their team's genius and rubbing it in our faces. Arsenal were quality. By far the best team I've seen at the Madejski.

If you want to see dissapointment, watch the clip below (apologies for the foreign commentary). When it comes to the replay with the view of the keeper and the fans behind him, look at the top right corner of the goal. There is a guy waving his hands about trying to put Henry off. He is sitting next to a guy wearing an orange shirt. Watch him as Henry's penalty goes in. His hands go down, his shoulders slump, and he puts his face in to his hands.

That man is me. The guy in orange is Has.



Ugly
- My haircut. I've given up on gel, which means my hair is in its natural centre parting. It is not a babe magnet.

Thanks everyone for your e-mails, texts and calls. As it is also Eid, please forgive me for my many shortcomings in the past month. God bless you all.

More Hoff

"The legend in leather trousers was in London this month to talk about his favourite subjects — himself and his music. The hair may be flecked with grey but the Knight Rider turned pop star (he’s big in Germany) has lost none of his swagger or corny charm.

Before I ask a question he has kicked off with a pun and a name check. “We’re Hoff and running,” he says without a hint of irony. Mentally I fasten my seatbelt."
(from John Alridge's article in The Times, 15th October 2006)

The man never ceases to fascinate me. Click here for the rest of the article to see just how cool he is. If you STILL can't get enough, see below for the latest in Hoff music videos.



No one entertains like this man can.

Stand up for Stephen Hunt

He is innocent. Mourinho is off his nut. If I were Hunty's lawyer I'd tell him he has a case against Mourinho for defamation.

Of course I have complete sympathy for Petr Cech and hope he recovers soon. A fractured skull is always serious in any situation. At the same time, there is no way Hunty could have slid in to him on purpose. He's just not that kind of player. Watch it and judge for yourself:



The only thing he could be guilty for is having a shocking haircut and loving the chairman a bit too much at the promotion celebrations last year:


I will be at the game against Arsenal on Sunday and if Hunty plays, myself and 22,000 other Reading fans will be on our feet raising the roof for him.

Stand up for Stephen Hunt.

Played for England

I played for England on Wednesday...disguised as Paul Robinson. That is the only explanation I can find for this:



Poor Robbo. It wasn't his fault. That kind of thing could happen to anybody and the whole team were shocking from start to finish anyway.

You can't not feel sorry for him...but it's still pretty damn funny.

Big Britain

Britain is the fattest country in Europe. Well, at least we're the best at something. As always when stats like that come out, the news programmes had a field day showing pictures of larger people walking around town, ice cream in hand or pie in mouth.

It made me wonder how they're getting these pictures. Surely they don't go up to people on the street and ask permission to film them walking around. Are these guys just hiding in bushes or something trying to get snaps of bums and bellies? What happens if you're watching the news at home and suddenly, see a report on obesity and then see your ass or your belly being filmed walking down the street? Would you be proud or pissed off?

Oh well, if you've got it you might as well flaunt it. Just like this Newcastle fan:


No shirt. No shame. Go on my son.

The best advert on telly

I love the Pot Noodle adverts, especially this one:


"Tec-tonic".

This one always makes me laugh too:


"You learn a lot about yourself in the noodle mines."

Shame the product doesn't live up to the ads. Pot Noodles are terrible. The producers still have a lot to learn about instant noodles. They should go to Indonesia and take a look at Indomie. Now that's what you call good junk food. Then again, Indonesians have a lot to learn from Britain about doing adverts. Having said that, even Indomie got it right on this occassion:


"Indomie, seleraku..."

And although Shearer was so much dearer...

...please don't take my Solskjaer away.


Great to have you back Ole.

He scored twice to win United the game against Newcastle and send us top of the league again. He probably didn't know very much about either goal. The first one came off the post straight on to his foot and the second just went in off his knee but he deserves that kind of luck after being out for two years. What a legend.

A great day for super Reading, super Reading FC as well. They keep surprising me by winning but I'm not complaining. A 1-0 away win at West Ham and we're sitting pretty on 13 points before the international break. Unbelievable. As far as I'm concerned, we've still got 27 more points to go until safety but if we keep this up we'll hopefully get there with time to spare.