30 December 2006

Mourinho, are you listening?

There was an earthquake in Taiwan, which snapped internet cables from South East Asia to the rest of the world meaning that Indonesia was blunged in to the pre-1995 dark ages when t'internet did not exist. No bother for me as I'm on holiday but it did prevent me from using the medium of blogging to express my happiness about Reading's 2-2 draw with Chelsea.

So I will do this now:

Roman Abramovic! Peter Kenyon! Tim Lovejoy! Didier Drogba! David Mellor! Ken Bates! Dennis Wise! Ginaluca Vialli! Blue flag! John Major! One man went to mow! Samsung! Jose Mourinho - can you hear me, Jose Mourinho? Your boys took one hell of a beating, your boys took one hell of a beating!

That is slightly inappropriate seeing as we drew them not beat them but it did feel like a massive win. After United's 3-1 win over Wigan two hours after the game, the more appropriate way would be to sing to the tune of Winter Wonderland:

Mourinho, are you listening?
Better keep our trophy glistening,
Cos we're coming your way to take it in May,
Walking in a Fergie wonderland.

Don't worry, I will be humble again in a few more days.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Lord, I have a problem!"
"What's the problem, Eve?"
"Lord, I know you've created me and have provided this beautiful garden and all of these wonderful animals and that hilarious comedy snake, but I'm just not happy."
"Why is that, Eve?" came the reply from above.
"Lord, I am lonely. And I'm sick to death of apples." "Well, Eve, in that case, I have a solution. I shall create a man for you."
"What's a 'man,' Lord?"
"This man will be a flawed creature, with aggressive tendencies, an enormous ego and an inability to empathize or listen to you properly, he'll basically give you a hard time. He'll be bigger, faster, and more muscular than you. He'll be really good at fighting and kicking a ball about and hunting fleet-footed ruminants, But, he'll be pretty good in the sack."
"I can put up with that," says Eve, with an ironically raised eyebrow.
"Yeah well, he's better than a poke in the eye with a burnt stick. But, there is one condition."
"What's that, Lord?"
"You'll have to let him believe that I made him first."
:D :D :D

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