A bachelor's kitchen nightmares

"The first time you cook for a woman, it can bind you together for life. You are sharing an experience that not only touches all five senses, but reaches deep into your emotional consciousness, gently plucking strings and touching chords in each other that you never knew existed, creating a symphonic harmony of oneness from what was duality." (Ross Anderson, The Times, 22.11.05).

The writer has obviously never seen me cook before. 'Cooking' for me tonight involved putting some meat under a grill and some greens in a boiling pot.

Yum Yum. Queue up ladies.

It certainly wasn't passion that nearly set my house alight tonight. It was my stupid negligence. I left the oven mits above the grill and left the kitchen for a bit to do some work. By complete chance I walked back in and noticed the room was a bit smoky. The mits had caught fire. I stuck them under the sink as fast as I could, sighed the biggest sigh of relief I have ever known and thanked God repeatedly for helping me.

I think I better buy some new mits.

The lesson from this is not to attempt to cook and use the bachelor's best friend (aka the microwave) instead. Alternatively, just learn to cook properly and take more care in the kitchen.