Buttons vs Zips

I was ironing a pair of jeans I found in the laundry basket (I don't know whose they are but they are not mine and probably belong to one of my siblings). I noticed they had a button-up fly rather than a zip. It's not the first time I'd seen this but it entered my mind as to why, after the invention of the zip (could you imagine life without it?), we still use buttons for our trouser flies.

The zip is the superior technology and is far more practical. I can't think of what difference it makes to the appearance of the jeans if the fly is a button-up one and, for purely practical reasons, the latter is just not as good. Can you imagine how long it would take to do up those buttons when you put your trousers on? Even worse, have a think about how long it would take you to undo them. You could be busting for a pee, leg it for the toilet and make it just in time but have your efforts wasted by the extra seconds, minutes, or what in the circumstances would feel like hours, it took to undo the buttons. You might end up in an unfortunate puddle. Alternatively, you hold nature's call but end up with some sort of kidney defect from the effort of doing so while your stubby fingers try to get you out of the buttoned prison that is your fly.

So my message to all trouser manufacturers out there (and I know you are out there reading this because you have left enough spam in the comments pages and my inbox to prove it), my message is to say no to buttons. We want zips.