Warning

Watch your internet connections people. Get that new version of McAfee or Norton or whatever. I heard a story from a mate at college yesterday which both scared and very much amused me at the same time.

A while ago his computer started acting up and he didn't understand why. After a while he got it checked out and apparently some internet hack had clocked in to it from some unknown part of the world to and turned it in to the server for a porn website. It's probably quite a shocking sensation to find out that your apparently clean computer is being used to send lewd images out to the world wide web.

This could of course just be a cover up for the fact that he is himself turning his laptop in to a gigantic hard drive of love but I doubt this as he is a polite and decent gentleman. It reminded me of someone else I know (and if you're reading this you know who you are) who had his secret stash found and then told us it wasn't him who out it there. It was apparently his "computer repair man"mucking around during the last service.

At least he had an excuse lined up anyway. I know another friend (and if you are reading you also know who you are) who had his less than secret stash found on his C drive. Unfortunately for him, some of our mates felt the need to exploit this so they logged on to his e-mail account (someone knew his password), uploaded some of the forbidden files and sent it to a number of people on his contact list...including his girlfriend. She isn't his girlfriend anymore.

You probably think that all my friends are perverts now but this is not the case. I am only telling you this because I want to protect your computers and because I think these stories have good moral lessons. Firstly, don't stor porn on your computer. Secondly, don't let other people store porn on your computer. Thirdly, if you're going to store it on your computer, make sure you have a good excuse. Last but definetly not least, never ever give anyone the password to your e-mail account.

The biggest team in the world?

Honours even at Old Trafford yesterday. The first words that Richard Keys (the Sky TV presenter) said after the game ended were "now that was a proper football match". He was spot on. It was end to end and very entertaining, if not a little frustrating for United as we failed to open up that 6 point gap we wanted.

Chelsea claim that they're overtaking United in becoming the world's best supported club. They may have won two league titles in the last two years but they haven't got kids dressed up in their replica kits in Indonesian music videos like United do. Look out for the red shirt in Sheila on 7's Pemuja Rahasia:



Now I'm just waiting for the day that fake Reading shirts start popping up in South East Asian streets.

Simply the best

You have to watch this:



The guy in the white is now officially my best friend in the whole world.

You must be joking

Chelsea fans have been sending death threats to Stephen Hunt and Ibrahima Sonko.

Firstly, has anyone reminded them that football is a game?
Secondly, has anyone told them that no one outside Chelsea saw anything wrong with the challenges on Cech and Cudicini?
Thirdly, has anyone told them how big Sonko is and that they can't touch him without kryptonite? He's got pecs the size of a truck and legs like tree trunks. Apparently, before the boogeyman goes to bed he checks his cupboard for Ibrahima Sonko.

I sense a few renditions of 'Sonko is Superman' on Saturday.

Hot chicks with douchebags

Embittered single men of the world unite. Ever wanted to understand why the most amazing women choose to get with the seemingly most unworthy of men? If yes, add this blog to your favourites. It is probably unjustly cruel on the people in the photos but it is still very very amusing.

I am making it my personal goal for the year to get myself on that website. Wish me luck.

Camera whore

I saw a large camera crew doing some filming at Waterloo last week. There was quite a big crowd around it so I went over to see what was going on. They were filming part of the sequel to The Bourne Supremacy with Matt Damon.

They were doing a scene where some bloke (probably the villain) is chasing after him through a crowded train station and had a whole load of extras there just to walk in front of the actor as the camera followed him through the crowd. As I am a camera whore I tried to get involved. With so many extras they'd never know it I thought. Unfortunately, I wasn't the only one who clicked on to this idea and the director was having none of it so the mass of wannabes like me got shoved off.

It was worth a shot.