12 February 2006

Twenty-five things you didn't know about Chuck Norris

Guns don't kill people. Chuck Norris kills people.

There is no such thing as evolution. Just a list of species that Chuck Norris has allowed to live.

Before he goes to bed, the boogeyman checks his cupboard for Chuck Norris.

Superman wears Chuck Norris pyjamas.

Children are afraid of the dark. The dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris's tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

Chuck Norris can win a game of 'Connect 4' in 3 moves.

Chuck Norris counted to infinity. Twice.

Chuck Norris does not go hunting because hunting implies a chance of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.

Chuck Norris can unscramble an egg.

When you wake up in the morning it's only because Chuck Norris has decided to spare your life.

Chuck Norris is suing NBC for calling their show Law and Order. Law and Order are the names of his right and left legs.

Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse. Horses are hung like Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.

Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.

Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.

The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked one of the corners off.

There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq. Chuck Norris lives in Oklahoma.

Chuck Norris does not own a stove, oven, or microwave , because revenge is a dish best served cold.

There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.

If at first you don't succeed, you're not Chuck Norris.

Google won't search for Chuck Norris because it knows you don't find Chuck Norris, he finds you.

Chuck Norris shot the sheriff, but he round house kicked the deputy.

Human cloning is outlawed because if Chuck Norris were cloned, then it would be possible for a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to meet another chuck Norris roundhouse kick. Physicists theorize that this contact would end the universe.

If you spell 'Chuck Norris' in Scrabble you win. Forever.

From the Chuck Norris facts website.


Post a Comment

<< Home