08 June 2006

Do you believe in love at first sight?

Or am I going to have to walk past you a second time?

Genius. I may have to whip that one out on the female world at some point. Rubbish chat up lines get you nowhere but they're quite fun. I've been inspired by a post I saw on this blog about the writer trying it on with some girl on the bus. It read:

"Saw a girl on the bus today, bit of a fox, so I sat down opposite and attracted her attention by bursting a balloon. “I am a tomato,” I announced, when she looked up. “So am I a fruit... or a vegetable?” She didn't know, so I explained to her in a nerd voice that technically I am a fruit in that I grow above ground, but that the United States Agricultural Department considers me a vegetable for the purposes of import levy.

Sadly, she did not speak English, otherwise we would have been getting naked within the hour. I have personally had over six hundred women using this method. "

However, the main chat-up gurus are definetly Napoleon Dynamite and Ron Burgundy. In the film, Napoleon approaches a girl in a high school canteen. He has obviously been trained to spot a girl's interests so he can raise conversation. He sees that she is drinking a skimmed milk called 'one per cent' and makes his move. He says, "I see you're drinking one per cent. Is that because you think you're fat? Cos you're not. You know, wou could rink full-fat milk if you really wanted to." Smooth bloke mate.

Not as smooth as the legend that is Ron Burgundy or Brick Tamlin in Anchorman though. Ron's technique will live long in the memory:

Brick's effort isn't bad either and is probably worth a crack:

But in the end it's Ron who succeeded...well, sort of...

Ron is the true guru. Follow him for dating success and afternoon delight.


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